Things we have learned so far...Week One

Google map time estimates are not made for a 14yo RV. Add 2 hours for each 4 Google calls for…more if there is any of your “stimulus money hard at work”.

“Stimulus” money is being used to close off hundreds of miles of highway down to one lane and to make hundreds more rough, bumpy and barely passable, in the name of road “improvements”. 

A GPS and Trip Tiks are very helpful, but cannot begin to calculate for the backups and road issues caused by stupid drivers.

The “easy” route over the Black Hills is not easy.  Makes us shudder to think what the “hard” way is like!

When the signs say, “rough road ahead”, “strong crosswinds ahead” or “rocks on road”, they MEAN it.  And what the West calls, “rough”,” strong” and “rocks”…we in MA would classify as “off road”, “gale force” and “boulders”!

RV tarps whose recoil latches are not firmly affixed will unravel while the RV is traveling down the highway in said, “strong crosswinds”...on a related note, it will take one adult, one teen and one preteen, and all the might they have, to get the tarp rolled back up against the wind.

A 29ft RV can swerve, while traveling 55mph, to miss an end table in the middle of the highway, if it is driven by a VERY accomplished driver.

Do not pack a 6yo a month in advance because if you do, part way through your trip she will begin to outgrow the clothes you packed for her and  you will need to buy more (even though you have plenty of clothes that would fit her at home)….and on a related note, Wal-Mart has great clearance sales which makes replacing those clothes a bit easier to manage…and another related note, do not have the 6yo help you shop because she will fall in love with the most expensive, most impractical clothes she can find, and thus be disappointed and sulky about the practical, inexpensive clothes you buy.

Believe it or not, when your father says, “DO NOT throw up in Wal-Mart. You will WAIT until you get outside!”, you will actually be able to do so!...and on a similar note, throwing up in Wal-Mart parking lot is embarrassing, but not as embarrassing  as doing so in the store…and on another similar note, conveniently, Wal-Mart sells anti-motion sickness pills, which fortunately work quite well. 

RV refrigerators do not run while the RV is being driven and if you don’t stop and put on the propane to run the refrigerator often enough while driving long distances , it turns your cream into the consistency of cottage cheese….and on a similar note, you should check your cream BEFORE it plops into your coffee.

When using a ground level urinal, be very careful not to slip in.

On a related note, it is far more sanitary to read the label on the septic flushing intake BEFORE you try to flush the lines.

If you continually read your brother’s Facebook posts out loud to the whole family, you will find yourself “unfriended”.

Never visit the Sulphur Cauldron at lunchtime, there might be picnic tables there, but it is not a hospitable

Snowball fights in June while wearing shorts and sunglasses are WAY better than having to bundle up to play in the snow.

Five children will make more clothes dirty in 2 days at Yellowstone National Park, than in the 7 days it took to drive there.

Coin operated laundry is stinking EXPENSIVE!

If you are contemplating a trip to Yellowstone National Park, do NOT tell your teenagers that there is no cell phone reception there…and on a similar note, teens who are surprised to find no cell phone reception will go to great lengths, including climbing onto the roof of the RV, to try to get reception, but alas, it will not work.

And on a related  note, teens who find themselves for 2 days without cell phone reception get VERY grumpy…and when “reconnected”, they will act more grateful and relieved than a man rescued from being marooned on a dessert island alone for years.

Glacier National Park gets snow even through July, which is awesome, except when snow removal is such that most of the park’s roads are not passable and the shuttle bus is not running, meaning anyone with an RV, effectively cannot visit the park.  L

In the mind of a 6yo, “Everyone” in MT has a horse and every girl NEEDS a pink cowboy hats with silver trim that lights up.

There are friendly, kind and caring people all across this great country.

“Road Schooling” is an AWESOME way to learn all sorts of new things!